The more you dig out your emotional damage, the more it affects you
On this site I’ve catalogued the emotional mechanics that govern our lives. We have to work with those mechanics as we go through the process of clearing our emotional damage.
Of the laws of emotional mechanics, this is one of the more sobering. Collectively, these laws teach us neutrality. They bring us into balance. But to get to neutrality we must journey through the swings and roundabouts of our unconscious until whatever is down there has been encountered, accepted and released.
Emotional damage
Think of your emotional damage as sonar transmissions from the murky depths. The signals work their way towards the surface of your life, but are mostly smothered by insensitivity and the numbing effect of unconscious shame.
Yet some of these signals get through.
There are two key factors here: human sensitivity and how much clearing you’ve done. The more sensitive you are, the greater your awareness that something requires attention. And the more you dig out your emotional damage, the more it affects you.
Think of it as an archaeological dig. As you dig down through the strata of the unconscious, the broken bones and shards of the next layer gradually emerge from the compacted dirt beneath you. At first their outline is vague, puzzling, incomplete. As you keep digging their nature becomes clearer.
This happens through a direct feedback mechanism: whatever aspect of your life this damage relates to will be affected.
If you’re dealing with arrested development from childhood issues, you’ll start behaving immaturely around anyone who triggers that issue. In all likelihood, you’ll only realise this after it’s negatively affected your life—your relationship, your family, your friendships, or your work. (This is the voice of experience speaking.)
If it’s a sexual issue, expect your sexuality to be affected. That’s a tough one as sexual shame is the most unbearable—i.e. most shameful—issue in patriarchal societies. (Yes, that’s also the voice of experience.)
The end of the line
As you dig down and the deepest issues flare up and cause problems in your life, there’s only one solution. Dig faster.
As you dig down and the deepest issues flare up and cause problems in your life, there’s only one solution. Dig faster.
In Debugging the Universe, Laura Knight-Jadczyk writes: “People do not realize that, in order to diminish darkness, they must focus on it.” If this feels like a descent into hell, that’s because it is. Knight-Jadczyk observes that, “the name Lucifer is derived from lucem ferre, or ‘bringer of light’.”
It may feel like you’re digging up a bottomless well. That’s not true. There is an end. When you get to the bottom of your unconscious, you’ll know about it. The pain stops. The feedback loop never lies.
So commit. Be completely uncompromising. Go to the end of the line.
Laura Knight-Jadczyk: “When the herald calls us into the place of nightmares, if our hearts are pure, we may discover a vision of divinity.”
Knight-Jadczyk uses a language reminiscent of philosopher Joseph Campbell’s ‘hero’s journey’. In the more process-oriented language of emotional mechanics, the message is simple. The deeper the damage you heal, the greater the reward. What’s not to like?
Photo by Giancarlo Revolledo on Unsplash